MONDAY::WHAT THEMES MAY COME

THE I-HATE-MY-BOSS PARTY

This is going to be tough for me to write, because my boss(es) are awesome. Because my entire job is absurdly badass. But that's neither here or there; it's just me boasting. And nobody likes that.

Ahem. Anyway.

This week includes amongst is festivities not only 4/20 -- which I trust my readership can figure out how to celebrate all by themselves -- but also Assistants' Day, formerly and less politically correctly known as Secretaries' Day, and more appropriately known as The One Day A Year Where Somebody In The Office Pretends To Care About The Person Whose Job Is Almost Certainly The Shittiest And Most Underpaid Of Them All. There almost certainly won't be a party at work, so I advocate throwing your own. I hope that development is not too shocking for everyone to bear.

Who hasn't been there?

What might a delightful "I Hate My Boss" party entail? Well, you can always throw in some DVDs of "The Office" (or, head on over to the NBC website for the same) and be glad that you at least don't work at Dunder Mifflin. More interactively, you can print out a picture of your loathed boss's face, stick it on a pinata, and have at it in an incredibly unsubtle, but highly therapeutic, regress to childhood. And what's more fun than that, truly?

Now imagine that with a face you simply cannot WAIT to pummel into a bloody pulp!

If you get along well enough with your coworkers -- and, most crucially, know that they share your attitude towards the (Wo)Man In Charge -- then they'll be a solid bet for invitees. Otherwise, call up your regular crowd, and invite them to share their own stories of hatred and pain. If you've got a dart board, you can go with a rotating cast of everybody's douchey bosses at the bulls-eye. Just be sure to have plenty of booze on hand; not just because that's a good strategy for life in general (which it is), but because nothing makes people want to drink themselves under the table like the thought of their jobs.

We all know it. We all hate it. We all want to drink it away. Well, except for me, because my job is awesome.